Any guesses as to how I was just awakened?

It was a new way at least. It is 12:17 a.m. and I was just dumped out of bed by Hyde lifting one side of the mattress and tossing me to floor. This was followed with slamming something into the wall. Then I heard how I was "Lord God Jen" had beat him for years, wouldn't let him do anything for a career, made him live celibate and did nothing at all for our marriage. I'm the worst mistake of his life and he rues it every day. I didn't say anything so he turned the light on, jerked my phone out of it's wall charger and threw it across the room. In an unpaid product endorsement, I swear (except I usually don't) that BelkinSpeck's snap tight covers are the best iPhone protectors ever. Wonder if I could get an endorsement deal? Hi, I live with a psycho and a 3 year old and my phone cover from Speck Belkin saves my phone each and every day.

Now back to our program...at this point I ask a) are you crazy? Get out of here. He then shoved me and said make me and b) are you drunk? The smell of wine was incredibly strong on his breath. He said he only had one glass "hours" ago. (I went to bed around 10:30.). He drinks a glass of wine a night for health reasons. In his defense he does have a family history of heart issues.

He then said the only reason he didn't divorce me now was because of ShortStuff (who thankfully slept through this one). He should have divorced me years ago and at least had a career in life. This from the man who has been unemployed for the past two months and isn't even getting calls. Partly the economy probably, part his insistence at not wanting to work in certain areas, at certain times, and possibly due to being a daytime SAHD for the early ShortStuff years.

I've tried to be completely honest with you dear blog reader(s?). He had asked if I was "feeling" anything at all. (Sexually that is.) This was Sunday night I think. In moment of pure insanity I decided to be completely honest and said I had not had any sex drive at all since the summer I was in NH. This was shared in an effort to share my frustrations with the situation and how I didn't know where to turn. I've been to therapists, general practitioners, psychiatrists, OB/GYNs, etc. No help anywhere. I asked for his help finding a DO in town. Said I felt like a total failure as not just a wife but a woman as well.

Exercise was a big focus as well. He said every doctor I've been to has told me to do moderate exercise and I refuse. I didn't even bother explaining that the only doctor who had ever mentioned it said to start with as little as 2 minutes a day and build up. I was told tonight that every problem in our marriage is me, I'm 100% at fault and he's going to make my life as miserable as his. Check that one off your to-do list Mr. Hyde.

Intolerance...we gots it

Spent the weekend with the in-laws. Once again very apparent why Hyde is the way he is. I'm not sure if his mother even realizes the hate she spews towards anyone she doesn't deem Christian.

I made the mistake of suggesting a family trip to the San Diego Zoo. I'm certain ShortStuff would love it and we have an opportunity to go with my flight paid and hotel paid for every night but one. However Hyde won't even consider it because he hates the state of California. I'm sure it has to do with the gun laws. So frustrating that our entire life revolves around his stupid obsession with firearms.

Speaking of intolerance, Hyde sees nothing wrong with burning a koran. Said only reason he's not burning one is he doesn't want to spend money on it. Nice way too teach others how to be Christ-like isn't it?