I tried

Dear Blogger - I tried to break things off with you. Really I did, but I just couldn't quit you.

As you have probably guessed, I was forbidden to blog ever again. I explained that I needed a place to vent and how once I got things on "paper" I could actually let go of them. They were truly forgotten. (Unless of course, I went back and re-read but I really try not to do that often. Too many typos and bad memories.)

Anyway, things have been exactly the same. The thing that stands out most since my last post would have to be forbidding me from going to one of the suburbs of the town we work in. A dear friend was in the ER in this suburb. After working things out with Hyde, I rode there with another friend. About an hour after we had been there, I sent a text to check on ShortStuff. I was told I needed to come home immediately. I stepped out of the ER and called. I was then forbidden from going to this town ever again.

Hyde and I talked later and he informed me that my friend (who ended up being admitted to the hospital) was destroying three families. Her own, mine and then my friend who drove. I do not understand him. He is so selfish, self absorbed and self-centered. In the past, he's forbidden me from teaching a Sunday school toddler class, teaching at a teen workshop weekend, and now from going to help a sister in need. I get forbidding me from getting a tattoo. I still want a tattoo and I hate the way he handled that whole ordeal, but okay, I can live with that. There is no command that I have to get a tattoo. There is a command to teach, to train the younger women, to bear one another's burdens.

Oh, yeah, one more thing stands out, Hyde also told me that he will not even try to meet my needs (try to live 1 Cor. 13) until I lose weight. He's not attracted to me at all and if I want changes in our relationship I need to lose weight. I asked if he would tell the elders that and he said no. He then went on his normal rant about how I'm a hypocrite and there is no way I've been forgiven for any of my sins since I haven't stuck to an exercise plan like he asked/demanded/required. I tried reasoning that 1 Cor. 13 is a command and my being a certain weight isn't. He of course went immediately to "submit in all things".

ShortStuff has been struggling a lot lately. He basically will not let Hyde have anything to do with him if I'm around or will be around soon. This has been going on for a while now, but then the other night, Hyde was getting ready to go to the gym. ShortStuff asked him to stay home with us and Hyde just said he'd see him later. Later I asked Hyde if he'd try to find a gym that was open later and closer so that we could spend some more time together but he's made no effort at that.

Something needs to change for ShortStuff and me. Hyde too but I have no control over him. Please keep us in your prayers.