Mother's Day Memories

The Good: A lovely card from ShortStuff and a little plant. I have no idea what it is but the planter is very cute. Then, all day Sunday, he gave me kisses and hugs and told everyone it was his momma's Mother's Day too. Oh and ShortStuff's declaration that macaroni looks like little rainbows.

The Bad: Sunday evening at worship services, ShortStuff had to go potty. We came out when the Lord's Supper was being offered. We stayed at back for first part of it, but the ShortStuff ran to our pew in between the two parts. Hyde jerked ShortStuff into the pew and told me never to interrupt the Lord's Supper again. Shortly afterwards, when we were singing, I asked if he could have been any more hateful to me. (Yes, I should have kept my mouth shut.) He said if I didn't shut up right that moment he would walk out & leave me there without a car. I told him that he didn't even know what happened. Tears started rolling down my face and after a couple minutes ShortStuff noticed and asked what was wrong. This made Hyde even angrier.

Once we got home, he started in on me and said he was ashamed of me, that I didn't have good sense and that I was a disgrace. Hyde says I'm lying and that he didn't do anything until I said something about his being hateful. But I didn't say anything until after he growled at me to never interrupt again. Then, he started in on how I had to make a show out of things because I started "boohooing".

Later in the evening, he told me to get out of his way. It wasn't like I was standing in his way confronting him or anything. I was walking into the living room with dinner to sit down and eat with ShortStuff. ShortStuff asked what Hyde said. I said you'll have to ask your Daddy. Then ShortStuff said "He told you to get out of his way". Great example Hyde is setting, huh?

This morning, I was going to get a shower before ShortStuff got up. So, I said hey will you listen for ShortStuff. Hyde wouldn't acknowledge I was even speaking. I finally said hey stop acting like a jerk & let me know if you'll take care of our son. He finally said what do you want.

I'm at a loss. I feel like no one, not even God, cares. I know that's not true but I feel so helpless. I can't figure out why prayers are not being heard. There are lots of people praying on our behalf and we can't all be unrighteous. A friend reminded me that Hyde is a free moral agent and that He cannot make Hyde change. I know this from an intellectual standpoint but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

Count it all joy. Count it all joy. If I repeat it enough, will it work?